Author Topic: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant  (Read 33991 times)

Offline Palermo

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #60 on: March 07, 2017, 06:37:40 PM »
FILM TREATMENT

Name: Star Wars, Episode XIII: Swim Two Birds
Genre: Culinary Opera/Romantic Comedy
Outline: The unending trials and tribulations befalling an earnest restauranteer.  A fight between the forces of good and evil.
Characters:
Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill): Haunted by the death of his father, the full on kiss his sister planted on him and how he hasn’t had a lead in a major motion picture in decades, Luke travels to the edge of the star system, past the forest moon of Woodside, to Jackson Heights, a sprawling bazaar of smugglers, immigrants and gentrifiers.  There, he realizes the Empire (anti-european food mafia) has the local community under its grip and he grudgingly joins the Resistance.
Steward “Stew” Job (Shia Le Boeuf):  Stew has trained long and hard in the ways of the cook, coming from the frozen north and cooking for Belgians.  While humbly and quietly engrossed in making his contemporary restaurant (30’s style built in an 80’s style “we can fix it up” montage), with perfect custom chairs, perfect Technique Français, perfect shellfish and a perfect model of staff compensation, he fails to see the dark cloud rising against him until it is too late.
The Community Board (Helen Mirren, Ben Stiller, John Leguzamo, Jay Lo, John Cho, Aziz Ansari, Alan Alda, Betty White and Snoop Dog): Obstinately a local government, they are agents of the Empire.  They employ seedy landlords, bad manners and liquor licenses to stop Stew and others like him.  Lolita Bergdorf (Jay Lo) eventually has a change of heart, begins secretly working for the Resistance and becomes a love interest. 
Reginald “Redge” Calrissian (Terrance Howard): Stew’s longtime friend, financial backer and bodyguard, Redge was the first to realize the desert of restaurants in Jackson Heights.  Sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, he promptly escaped to the Los Angeles underground.  He briefly resurfaced but his whereabouts are unknown.  For this, Stew vowed revenge.  While claiming to be a cousin of Lando Calrissian, it is later found out the real Redge died a mysterious death in an orphanage many years ago.
Leroy “de Poo” Brown (Samuel L. Jackson): From the south side of Chicago, once a trouble maker and gambler, often unknowingly working for the Empire, he reinvented himself after a vicious bar fight and became a designer par excellence.   While wary of the Resistance, he is convinced by Stew to design the restaurant and along the way learns of the true nature of the Empire.  He is unaware that he is a descendant of royalty.  Juan Yossarian (Ben Stiller) knows it but actively keeps it a secret.
Ipsos Jackson (Amy Adams): A vocal conduit for elders who advise Stew offering counsel ranging from sober sincerity to creamed cheerleading as they thirst for the water Stew will bring to the land.
The Engineer (Steven Seagal): A nefarious building inspector, a restaurant assassin and all around douchebag, sent by the Empire to further thwart the passion of our hero.  He claims to be a Sith Lord Master but is evasive when asked for specifics.
Budget: 1,329,063 Zimbabwean Dollars and rent, lots of rent.

Offline dssjh

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #61 on: March 07, 2017, 07:25:55 PM »
if i may borrow a classic sports broadcasting phrase, "Pardon me while I stand and applaud."

Offline Beherenow

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #62 on: March 08, 2017, 09:40:42 AM »
Thanks Palermo, for the entertaining riff.

You could bend the genre a bit and allow the food to talk.  The food items are the real heroes and heroines here. I'm certainly rooting for them to appear and they deserve a chance to be heard/tasted.

Offline lalochezia

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #63 on: March 08, 2017, 01:29:06 PM »

Offline 82oldie

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #64 on: March 10, 2017, 10:57:38 AM »
We're up to five pages and no restaurant...will it ever open?  Status?

Please?

Can't anyone stand up to bullies?


Offline carrefour_ny

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #65 on: March 10, 2017, 12:01:31 PM »
@ Palermo: FABULOUS!

Offline Stew

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #66 on: March 12, 2017, 07:58:24 PM »
There's something to be said for perspective...

Just watched parents come out of Barilles letting their (about) five or maybe smaller six year old walk on the sidewalk ahead of them. Both parents close behind, papa in particular looking nervous and ready to grab him.

Brought a smile to my face, if not the parents :)
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 08:07:07 PM by Stew »

Offline Stew

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #67 on: March 12, 2017, 08:38:27 PM »
We're up to five pages and no restaurant...will it ever open?  Status?

Please?

Can't anyone stand up to bullies?

The straight-up answer is that whether this restaurant opens depends on imminent discussions that will result either in a clear path to opening or a lawsuit.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 08:45:13 PM by Stew »

Offline dssjh

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #68 on: March 12, 2017, 08:42:37 PM »
thanks for engaging, Stew. it's appreciated.

Offline Stew

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #69 on: March 12, 2017, 09:22:26 PM »
thanks for engaging, Stew. it's appreciated.

And thanks for your comment.

The truth is, there is nothing that I have said here that has any impact on whether we open, but what I've had to say is likely to be useful to anyone who wants to open a restaurant in this neighborhood.

On the downside, only an idiot doesn't know what was going on with restaurants like Novo, including the problems with noise, drugs and weapons, and Novo's role as a major host for functions of the main local political party.

On the upside, I am trying to open an independent restaurant that has nothing to do with either party, or with historic city violations, by the landlord and its tenants, that have nothing to do with me.

The situation is pretty clear, and will get resolved, one way or another, soon. 




« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 09:36:36 PM by Stew »

Offline Stew

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #70 on: March 12, 2017, 11:15:05 PM »
Seriously, let's talk about why the Democratic Party was paying Novo, every month, for state level and city level functions.

We're talking about a restaurant that paid next to no rent, that had constant neighborhood issues with noise, drugs and weapons, that was constantly in arrears of its cable payments (patrons were told over and over that the big TVs couldn't deliver because the cable company was incompetent) and that eventually walked from a monthly rent of about $3500.And yes, I know what rent they were paying.

What was going on here?
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 11:28:36 PM by Stew »

Offline CaptainFlannel

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #71 on: March 15, 2017, 09:02:29 AM »
Quote
On the downside, only an idiot doesn't know what was going on with restaurants like Novo, including the problems with noise, drugs and weapons, and Novo's role as a major host for functions of the main local political party.

As charming as ever!

Offline Hertog

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #72 on: March 15, 2017, 08:51:49 PM »
Hi Stew,

Good luck with jumping through these next hoops. Myself and many neighbors are looking forward to having a drink at your bar and enjoying some terrific food.

I admire your perseverance in the face of the challenges and detractors.

All the best.

Offline queenskid2

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #73 on: March 16, 2017, 11:28:20 AM »
Quote
On the downside, only an idiot doesn't know what was going on with restaurants like Novo, including the problems with noise, drugs and weapons, and Novo's role as a major host for functions of the main local political party.

As charming as ever!

I only went to Novo a few times, but it never struck me as a hotbed of illegal activity--drugs and weapons.  Is there any proof to back this up.  And Stew, are you implying that the local Democrats were involved in some type of illegal behavior?  Really.

Offline dssjh

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Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #74 on: March 16, 2017, 12:45:18 PM »
i think the Novo guys installed wiretaps at Trump Tower or something.

Quote
On the downside, only an idiot doesn't know what was going on with restaurants like Novo, including the problems with noise, drugs and weapons, and Novo's role as a major host for functions of the main local political party.

As charming as ever!

I only went to Novo a few times, but it never struck me as a hotbed of illegal activity--drugs and weapons.  Is there any proof to back this up.  And Stew, are you implying that the local Democrats were involved in some type of illegal behavior?  Really.

Jackson Heights Life

Re: Status of Swim Two Birds Restaurant
« Reply #74 on: March 16, 2017, 12:45:18 PM »